A New Year, A New Start..?

Yet another year where I was going into the new year with a great party.

The thing is just that it was kinda hard on me, the party. A lot of things happened. Things i can't tell anyone, things i don't want to tell at this exact moment and things i really can't remember.. 

So it is kinda hard to tell you guys what happened that night. I can say that the night was emotional at sometimes and i've gotten to know who my real friends are and who i never should have got involved with..

Even though some of the things hurt me, i was glad that they happened. I found out which friends i want in my life and which ones i don't want. Now i just need to find a way to tell them that i can't be friends with them the same way as we were before because of how they acted.. Other friends need a bit adjusting in the friendship because it has gone a bit too far. We seem flirty when we're together and we really shouldn't be flirty in any way. I don't want to lose our friendship, but this can't go on.. 

I always hear everyone say "A new year, a new fresh start" For me, this is not entirely true. Yes it is a new year, but the new start is probably only going to be with my working out. I want to do it more, but it is not a resolution. I don't believe in them. They have never worked for me and probably never will. If you feel the same way, it is probably because you, like everyone else, tells what your resolutions is/are. When you do this and get a reaction like "Oh that sounds like a good idea" or something encouraging, that is enough for your mind. The response and feedback you get from other people is enough to lose that motivation you had and therefore, i have no resolutions.
For a lot of my friends, this year will contain a new start on a university or some other education place to go on with their lives and become whatever they want to. This is not going to happen for me, unless i find out what i want to do with my life during the next couple of months.
I don't know what i want to do with my life.. I'm only 18. And the world is filled with so many options that i just don't know anymore. Well.. I've never known, but now i'm even more confused about it.

I really wanted to write a longer post than this, but i couldn't really manage more than this. I think the flu is coming over me :(