I'm 17 years old, I've had a share of the cute-boy-crushes.
My problem seems to be that when ever I find a cute boy and tries to charm my way into their hearts, it always ends up with them being happy and me being alone..
I won't lie. I have high expectations when it comes to my future boyfriend, but I think that I'm allowed to. I know every girl has high hopes and expectations, but are we just supposed to settle with one that is okay, when we could get someone better??
While being in High School, as I am right now, I have had two crushes. That is two crushes in the 1.5 years I've been going to this school. The first one, was a boy named Thomas*. It all started when he send me a friend request on Facebook and then we started texting back and forwards. At the High School dances, he kept his distance, I was always the one to approach him and I'm not that kind of girl. Even though I tried talking with him and dancing with him, he just seemed a little too shy. I am also shy so it was hard for me to take all the steps towards him, when he didn't take one towards me. After some time, he completely stopped answering me on Facebook and he didn't answer the texts I send him either. I didn't really know what I had done wrong, so I asked one of our mutual friends to talk to him and ask him if there was anything since he didn't answer me. I started ti ignore him, just like he ignored me because I got mad that he would be such an ass. My friend told me that it wasn't because he didn't like me. He thought that I was a nice girl and he did want something with me, but he wished that I would take the first step. This is where I got really annoyed. I hadn't done anything but taking the first step, he just didn't get it! Then a couple of dances ago, he pushed me. It probably wasn't on purpose, but he didn't turn around to say he was sorry, he just kept going. I stopped all contact with him at that point. Now he is referred to as 'The Skank' whenever we see or talk about him. Oh! And by the way, he is fooling around with another girl now.. Well, fuck you then!
The second was a boy called Kenneth*. We got to talk when we and another group of young people took a trip to Turkey. We became really good friends and I could already there feel that this could be something more. In Turkey, I got his number, but wasn't planing to use it at all when we got home. That was a mistake. After the trip, we started texting and planing all kinds of stuff, but then he left for a boarding school on the other side of the country. It didn't really bother me, because we continued to text back and forwards and it got more and more intimate. We wound send pictures and stuff like that. After a month we met at a festival in the town we live in. We hung out the whole night and when we had to say goodbye, that was the first time I really wanted to kiss him, but I didn't. I regret that now. After that, we texted for about 4 month, before seeing each other again at one of the High School dances. We were together the whole night. I was trying to find my friends, because I knew they were looking for me, and he walked with me to find them. It was all very cute and all my friends asked me if there were a small spark between us. I really wished for it, but I wasn't sure. The night ended up with that his father came and picked us up and drove us home. After that we went back to writing a bit, but suddenly it stopped too! I was reliving it all over again. But this time, I couldn't do anything about it. About a month ago was the time for when we stopped writing or texting. I stopped it, because of a couple of pictures on Facebook where he was kissing another girl. Yep, he has a girlfriend now and I am all alone.. FML.
This blog was just for expressing my feelings. I don't know why I can't have a cute and hot boyfriend, but it is apparently not going to be like that for me.. Yet.
* The names have been changed to spare myself of the embarrassment.
